Soon after you are at home with a new baby, you may be feeling a bit scared at the thought of bathing your baby. In the first days, a baby does not like having their clothes off and being placed in the water, but as they grow they will enjoy lying back in the warm water. Later there will be cries when they are lifted out!  Until you feel confident to work out your own routines, it may help to follow these step-by-step ideas.

What you need –

A baby can be washed in the family bath but a plastic baby bath can be placed up on a bench and at that height it will be easier on your back. If the room is cold, put a heater on to raise its temperature.

Assemble what you will need in advance. Once your baby is in the bath you must not leave them! Have some baby bath liquid or non- perfumed baby soap, soft muslin squares to use as flannels and a soft towel.

Fill the bath with warm water to a depth of about 10cm. Test the water before you put baby in, using the inside of your wrist. It should feel warm but not hot.

Taking the plunge –

Undress baby and wrap her firmly in a towel. Before placing her in the water, use a wet cloth to wash her eyes and face. When cleansing the eyes, sweep across from the inside of the eye to the outside. Supporting the head and back, gently lower her into the water, squeezing a little water from the flannel onto her hair. Shampoo or soap isn’t essential for washing the hair but if you use it, make sure it is all washed away from the scalp.

As you lower her into the water, hold her firmly and make it fun by talking or singing to her and dribble water onto her tummy and clean all over with the soft flannel. To turn her onto her back, you will be able to support her on your arm. Keep bath-time short if she doesn’t seem to be enjoying it. Let it go longer if she does seem happy but not for too long as the water will be getting cold.

If there are any outside distractions, ignore them. Never leave a baby alone in a bath.

After the bath –

Make the transition out of the bath quite speedy as babies don’t like cold air on their skin. Wrap in a snuggly towel and pat dry thoroughly paying careful attention behind the ears, under the arms and groin and inside the elbows.  It is important to dry these areas well as any moisture left in creases can become red, sticky and sore. If baby’s skin looks dry apply a moisturizer such as baby oil.

Other grooming tips-

• Give baby their own soft hairbrush. Brushing the hair daily will stimulate the scalp, remove any scaliness and promote the growth of healthy hair.
• The eyebrows sometimes need gentle rubbing also to avoid dry areas developing. A smear of Vaseline or baby oil will make them shine and keep the skin underneath soft.
• Spilled milk can make the skin on the face red so always cleanse these away after feeds.
• Make sure that any “sleepy birds” are wiped away (inside to outside) from the eyes too.
• Sometimes a blocked tear duct may cause a flow of tears down the cheek. A gentle massage with a fingertip, just under the lower edge of the eye, will help it clear.
• Cut baby’s nails straight across and it is easier to do this if someone else is holding them or they are asleep.

When it’s all too much-

If you sometimes feel that you are so tired, and you just can’t face bathing baby today, your baby will be perfectly ok with just a “topping and tailing” – cleansing of the face, hands and bottom. Some parents find it easier as baby grows, to put them into the bath or shower with the other parent. If you want to try this option, have another adult on standby to help with the drying and dressing when the bath or shower is over.

Don’t forget yourself!

A baby seems to need so much attention that it is hard to find time for yourself. Accept offers from family and friends so you can escape even just to have a shower and put on some makeup – or even get dressed! And if you get a break for a bit longer- Dad left in charge- what better than indulging yourself with a trip to the hairdresser. Babies do grow fast so keep that camera clicking too.

When you find out that you are pregnant all sorts of emotions kick in. As you announce the news to your partner, family and friends they show their delight and you try to smile at them as you think you should. But you realise that you don’t feel any excitement at all.

ANTENATAL DEPRESSION has only just become recognized as occurring in 7 – 20% of pregnant women. With the development of the baby, new hormones develop in the mother’s body and these can cause some very uncomfortable feelings in pregnancies.

It is natural if your pregnancy was unexpected and was not planned, that you feel upset.

Here are signs of Antenatal Depression so give yourself a check:

• Unable to concentrate
• Feeling emotionally numb
• Feeling irritable
• Not sleeping well
• No desire to eat – or the opposite – over eating
• Having difficulty remembering things
• Having extreme tiredness
• Relationship problems

Worst of all, this medical condition can make you consider suicide.

HELP IS OUT THERE! Talk to someone – partner, family, friends and ideally, your Doctor or Midwife if you have already booked in.

POSTNATAL BLUES. (BABY BLUES)

It is common to experience sad feelings 3 to 4 days after the birth of the baby. A new mother may feel emotional and tearful and even anxious with swings of mood. These feelings usually pass. These “Blues” appear to be caused by the sudden change in the hormones after the birth and as the breasts start filling with milk.

POSTNATAL DEPRESSION has been recognized for many years and this affects 10 – 20% of women after the birth of the baby. It is suspected if the mother is still feeling weepy and anxious by the time the baby is 4 to 5 days old. It is often hard for the mother to recognize the signs in herself as she has the tiring job of learning to care for this little newcomer who will need an eye kept on them 24 hours a day. It can be hard. It is often apparent to her partner and other family members that things are not going as well as they should be. I have noticed that the new Mum is often the last to realise that she is acting differently from what should be the norm.

Other signs are:

• Lacking concentration
• Reluctant to get out of bed in the mornings
• Loss of interest in sex
• Looking at the baby in a mechanical way and not showing any love.

Talking about these feelings to the Midwife, Plunket Nurse or Doctor is essential. There is good help available be it medication, counselling and mixing with other mothers. Family can help with meals, giving time for rest and opportunities for time out as well.

POSTNATAL PSYCHOSIS (PUEPERAL PSYCHOSIS)

This extreme disorder is rare and occurs in 1 in 500 mothers after birth usually in the first 2 weeks after birth.

Signs are:

• Out of touch with reality and having delusions
• Anger and hostility towards the baby and father.
• Not caring for the baby and even seeming unaware of having a baby.

Psychiatric treatment and medication is very successful and a full recovery will be made.

So with this extra knowledge you are armed to deal with any strange signs you notice in yourself. Talk about them and seek out professional help.

It will pass. You will get through it and become happy and enjoy your baby and all the busy days ahead.

.

Crying is the only way a baby can let anyone know how they are feeling and as you are getting used to having this newcomer in your life, the so – frequent crying can get you down. It is stressful and you are probably short on sleep but your baby will grow and settle and become interested in things around her that hopefully will be a distraction.

In the early weeks check out whether she is cold or too hot. A hand down her back or on her tummy, will give you an idea about the warmth of her skin. Perhaps she has a dirty nappy or is hungry or over tired? Have you had a number of visitors who have been touching and holding her a lot? These are normal reasons for all that upsetting noise.

If your baby hasn’t had a feed for a couple of hours, offer another then hold her upright against your shoulder and walk around so that she has a chance  to bring up any trapped wind. After 5 minutes or so, lie her down and wrap in a soft sheet.

Very young babies like the security of a wrap. It stops them disturbing themselves as without it, they can throw their hands up and hit their faces. Try placing the centre of the sheet under the baby’s chin and keeping the sheet at the baby’s neck, bring the sheet to the back, folding it first under one side and then the other. As they will be lying safely on their back the sheet won’t come away from them. Then at waist level, gather up the sheet so there is room for baby to move her hands.

Play some music or turn on some “white noise” such as a vacuum cleaner or a hair dryer provide. The dull sound of talk back radio turned down low can work very well in sending your baby to sleep too.

Having a chair near baby’s bassinet, and being seated, rock the bed  but watch baby’s eyes and as you see them closing, slow down the rocking. Then if they open wide again – away you go – resume that calming movement, backwards and forwards as it is a calming soother for a baby.

An unwell baby may not respond to these basic ideas. If you feel your baby is not well ring Healthline 0800 611 116 or Plunketline – 0 800 933 922. There is help and advice 24 hours a day and 7 days a week and you will be reassured by the nurse’s helpful advice.

When you get sick, you may worry about whether or not you should keep on breast feeding your baby. Don’t worry! If you have a bad cold, the flu, vomiting or diarrhoea it is completely safe to keep the breast feeding going. The germs which cause these illnesses are not present in your breast milk as the milk has a protective factor against these infections. The baby was exposed to these germs before you knew you were going to be sick. Antibodies in breast milk help stop the baby from becoming sick as well. If you have to stay in bed have baby’s bassinet near you so you can get all the rest you can.

With more serious conditions like hepatitis B, tuberculosis (TB) and HIV (Aids) seek out professional advice about whether you can keep breastfeeding going.

Often after major surgery, a family member can give baby milk you have expressed prior to the surgery. Frozen bottles of milk can be brought in to the hospital so you can keep the breastfeeding going. Extra pairs of family hands will be really helpful and reduce your worries about keeping that tummy full and you can concentrate on getting well again.

Skin To Skin Breastfeeding

When you are well again and wanting to get back to the breastfeeding routine you had before you were unwell, your baby may be reluctant to cooperate. Remember when your baby was first born, and the midwife put him just wearing a nappy, onto your bare chest?  As well as being a great bonding exercise, that was a calming way of soothing your baby too.

Even with older babies, the skin to skin technique is a very encouraging way to get the baby breastfeeding again. The physical contact of your skin and their skin plus smelling your very familiar mummy fragrance is very likely to bring back the desire to feed. Persevere and sit in a warm comfortable place and talk in a calming way. Squeeze a little milk from your nipple.  It does work for older babies too!

The cold weather is here so it is time to think about dressing your baby and toddlers in a warmer way. Snow and frosts mean chilly days and one of the best ways to protect your baby and children from the cold drop in temperatures is to cover their heads.

I was a bit dismayed in Auckland the other day, seeing many little children in some local streets and later at the Auckland Airport, wearing no covering on their heads at all. Most had cuddly jackets and shoes and socks in place but their heads were uncovered. Most body heat escapes through the head so search out or buy bonnets, beanies or berets and put them on your littlie every time you go outside.

When your baby’s hands or feet feel cold, place your hand down their back or on their tummy and you will be able to gauge how warm-or-cold they are. Because hands and feet are small and exposed, they lose heat first. A useful rule is to dress your baby and toddler with one or two more layers than you yourself are wearing.

Materials such as cotton or wool allow the skin to breathe while polyester and nylon fabrics may irritate the skin and cause the skin to sweat and get over-hot.  If your child seems to get irritation from clothes made of these materials, place a layer of cotton clothing under woollen ones when the weather is chilly. Inside you can maintain a temperature of 16 -18 C as this is pleasant and easy to live in!

When your littlies display naughtiness and they keep it up, it can be very frustrating and make you feel really mad! However, there are ways to deal with it without throwing a wobbly yourself.

All children try out their parents but there are a number of ways to nip it in the bud and stop it continuing. I have previously explained some strategies based on the American initiated Parenting STEP programme.

These strategies are based on the word DISCIPLINE.

D      Distract the child.

I        Ignore naughty behaviour.

S       Structure the environment.

C       Control the environment, not the child.

I        Involve the child through choice and consequences.

P       Plan time for loving.

L       Letting go.

I        Increase your consistency.

N       Notice positive behaviour.

E       Exclude them with a time-out.

One of the best things you can do for each of your children is to have some time alone with them every day. Time alone with Mummy and having a cuddle means they feel safe and relaxed and can share any worries they have. Give them your full attention and they will respond by talking about their feelings about different people and events. It helps you see things from their point of view and you can give reassurance and suggest new ways of dealing with daily situations.

In my book, “Parents Here’s your Answer”, I outline ways to be in charge and maintain the rules in a sensitive fashion.

• Mum and Dad need to be united about what is OK and what is not.
• They need to be good role models themselves.
• They need to praise and encourage when things are going well.
• They need to show love with hugs and cuddles.
• When bad behaviour seems to be brewing, use distraction and divert your child’s thoughts to something else.
• It is probably not wise to go shopping when your child is tired or hungry.
• Avoid saying “No” too much. Keep this word for dangerous situations such as crossing a road on their own.

There are many – for the mother as well as the baby.

TO THE BABY

• Breast milk provides all the nutrition baby needs for the first six months.
• The milk is already at the correct temperature.
• As there is a high amount of water in breast milk- around 80% – there is no need to give extra water.
• Breastfeeding helps in the development of strong bones in the jaw and this later assists in clear speech.
• The calcium in breastmilk, which makes bones and teeth strong, is very well absorbed.
• A breastfed baby has fewer allergies, chest and ear infections and also fewer respiratory and stomach illnesses.
• Breastmilk contains taurine which provides optimum brain development.
• Premature babies are proved healthier with breastmilk.
• A baby’s immune system develops more quickly in a breastfed baby.
• There are fewer incidences of Crohn’s Disease, Coeliac Disease, high blood pressure and multiple sclerosis developing in later life when a baby has been breastfed.

TO THE MOTHER

• After birth, breastfeeding helps the uterus (womb) contract and return to its pre-birth size.
• As breastfeeding uses up 500 calories a day, if you are not overeating it will help to lose weight!
• Feeding time is a chance for Mum to put the feet up and have a rest.
• The skin to skin contact when feeding, releases hormones which strengthen bonding.
• Protects against osteoporosis in later life as it ensures strong bones as the baby grows.
• Breastfeeding is associated with a deceased risk of ovarian, uterine and breast cancer in later life.
• Breastfeeding saves money as no spending on bottles and teats. And so it saves time too.
• Bowel motions are less smelly in a breastfed baby. They may be runnier and constipation is rare.

Breastfeeding is environmentally friendly too as no bottles, teats, packets and tins are needed!

I enjoyed meeting up with a lady the other day and she recalled how I had been her Plunket nurse many years ago. Her baby was called Fleur and at that time, my daughter – Fleur- had just turned 21, so we had a special connection!

My Plunket training was completed before I was married and although this was an advantage in some ways in caring for my three, nurses tend to imagine all sorts of things being wrong sometimes when their children are unwell. But it was a special time!

Although thoroughly enjoying looking after my own babies, I vividly remember the awful tiredness in the early weeks. Being at home and responsible for the 24 hour care of helpless babies is a challenge. Yet, there are fun times too. I remember the mixed feelings I had about going back to work part time, but two children were at school and a wonderful next door neighbour offered to look after my youngest son who was just two and a half.

So, finding a good day care just has to be a part of life. However, the standard of day cares is generally very good. I know many mothers have guilt feelings about returning to work but often there is no alternative. The preschool years are precious times and you will want the best for your young family.

Here are some ideas about choosing the best possible day care for your baby or toddler:

• Have a talk among your friends to see which day cares they are using for their small children. Ask questions to ensure they are happy with their choices.
• Which would be best – a day care near your home or one near your work?
• Make a list of potential places and pay them a visit.
• Do the children at each one seem happy – and the staff too?
• Ask about the ratio of staff to children and find out if there is a low staff turnover.
• Meals – what is the daily menu?
• Check the outside area and see what facilities are available for play.

Once you book your child in and the place is available now, your plans are all set. Most day cares keep a diary of the child or baby’s activities over the day. In the event your child is sick, you will need to have a carer available or be able to take time off from work yourself.

A big change is going to take place in your family’s life, but I am sure you will feel reassured by having observed ‘happy campers’ in the day care you have chosen. Try not to feel guilty about leaving your baby or toddler in care. You are broadening their world and they will benefit from mixing with others and making new friends.

English measles (morbilli) is a sickness which is so frequently heard of, that it can be thought of as a disease of little importance. When you hear that a friend’s baby or child has the symptoms of the disease, you think why not visit and share the germs with your child too?

Some days later when your little one gets a runny nose, red eyes, a fever and you see white spots inside the mouth, you think,

“Oh well we can tick measles off the list of infectious diseases.”

But wait! There is a sinister side to measles which is often not heard about. Apart from being really sick and suffering from that, there is a chance that anyone suffering from measles can get complications.

Possible side effects:

• bacterial ear infection
• bronchitis, laryngitis
• croup and pneumonia
• inflammation of the brain (encephalitis)
• alteration to the platelets of the red blood cells which normally help the blood to clot.

So have another think if you are against your baby having immunisations. Measles is not such a harmless illness after all.

Many diseases progress to nasty complications. The National Immunisation Schedule advises protection against some of the more serious infectious diseases. Like measles, there are known complications that can occur. Some of these are:

Diphtheria

•  Breathing and heart problems.
•  Damage to nerves so, muscles become weak.

Tetanus

• Also known as Lockjaw as the jaw becomes hard to open.
• Muscle spasms leading to broken bones and cerebral palsy.
• Pneumonia.

Whooping Cough

• Huge breathing difficulties.
• Pneumonia.

Poliomyelitis 

• Paralysis in parts of the body.
• Breathing and swallowing affected.

Mumps

• Tense muscles so that the body does not work properly
•  Meningitis
•  Deafness.

Rubella  (German measles)                 

• Affects pregnant women in the early weeks, when the baby’s organs are formed causing deafness, blindness, and heart and brain defects.

So have another think if you have decided against your baby having immunisations.

In New Zealand, deaths are now rare but in poorer countries, infants and small children do die. It can be a serious situation.

There’s nothing like a breath of fresh air and some exercise outside to blow your troubles away. Playing in your back yard can be simple but fun for all ages of children. Just think that as your baby is now able to crawl; doing just that on some green grass would be an amazing experience!

So apply the sun screen, grab the hats and head out to your back yard or perhaps there is time to head out to a field, the beach or a park. Most parks have swings and climbing frames in place and there may be some set out on the grass at your beach too. As children grow, they love to run, skip, jump or roll so give them some lessons and demonstrate these fun things to them.  Having a ball or small Frisbee means they learn to throw and catch and chase after it too.

You will find them places to play hide and seek and that is a game of fun that can go on and on. Teach them how soldiers march and see how long they can keep that up. Tummies will get hungry so bring with you some snacks and water to drink. You probably always travel with baby wipes as they are so handy for wiping mouths and hands.

Going out need not mean having to spend money. Take time to stop as you wander. Let them observe the world, jump in a puddle and swing around any poles you are passing. Point out numbers on letterboxes, talk about the shape of trees and the colours of their leaves which can be very pretty as they change colour in autumn. Insects are probably scurrying out of your way and letting your children gaze and learn about them will make the trip educational too.

You may see dogs going for a walk but remember don’t pat a dog until you have been introduced to it and you learn whether it is a friendly fellow who likes children and is happy to have them stroke him. Meeting people as you amble along is an opportunity to teach your older children how to make polite conversation.

If time is short and play is in the backyard, make a play area with old curtains draped over chairs or boxes.  Place a piece of wood on the lawn with a brick each end to elevate it a little, as practice on this teaches the skill of balancing.

So there’s a lot to do in the outside world. As well as teaching about sharing and socialising, the activities exercise all their muscles and keeps them healthy!